Therapy for Relationship Problems in Putney, Farnham and Online
Relationships are where we feel most alive, and often where we struggle most. You may notice the same difficulties coming up again and again. Perhaps you’re drawn to people who aren’t available, or arguments always seem to follow the same script. You might find it hard to let anyone get close, or fear being left once they do. Sometimes the difficulty isn’t with one person but with relationships in general: at work, with family, with friends or with a partner. Therapy for relationship problems can help you understand why.
A Psychodynamic Understanding of Relationships
From a psychodynamic perspective, the way we relate to others is shaped by our earliest relationships. As children, we learn what to expect from people: whether closeness is safe, whether our needs will be met, and what we have to do to be loved. Those expectations become a kind of template. We carry it into adult life, often without knowing it’s there.
This is why people can find themselves repeating patterns they consciously want to leave behind. The pattern isn’t a failing. It was once a way of coping, and it still makes sense on its own terms. Therapy offers a chance to understand it, and once it is understood it starts to have less hold.
How Therapy Can Help
In individual therapy, you have space to think about your relationships without needing to protect or please anyone. We look at what happens between you and the people in your life, what you feel, what you expect and what you find yourself doing.
The relationship between us is part of the work too. The same patterns tend to show up in the therapy room, and noticing them as they happen can bring an understanding that talking about them alone doesn’t.
If you and your partner would like to work on your relationship together, I also offer couples counselling.
You Might Recognise
- Repeating the same patterns with different people
- Fear of abandonment, or of getting too close
- Frequent conflict, or avoiding conflict at all costs
- Feeling unseen or misunderstood by those closest to you
- Difficulty trusting others, or trusting your own judgement
- Losing yourself in relationships, or keeping others at a distance
Therapy in Putney, Farnham and Online
I see clients in Putney on Thursdays and Fridays, in Farnham Monday to Wednesday, and online across the UK and internationally.
Take the First Step
If something here feels familiar, you’re welcome to get in touch. We’ll start with a brief phone conversation, followed by an initial assessment to explore what you’re looking for.
